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Literature Text
Abandoned in the rain
He left me
left...
Alone I stand in the cold wet night
with crushed dreams on the ground before me
and a broken heart held in my hands
When will it end?
When will I be loved?
When can I be defended?
Never; it will never end
never will I be loved
no one will ever defend me
The rain falls upon my broken existence,
for I have been abandoned
and that is how it will remain.
He left me
left...
Alone I stand in the cold wet night
with crushed dreams on the ground before me
and a broken heart held in my hands
When will it end?
When will I be loved?
When can I be defended?
Never; it will never end
never will I be loved
no one will ever defend me
The rain falls upon my broken existence,
for I have been abandoned
and that is how it will remain.
Literature
Laugh
Waiting for rain in the silence.
It's deafening. Bleak.
It patters. It pours.
There's a moth in the corner.
Cracks in the wall.
The house moves. Shivering.
There's a silver sky. Crying sky.
Trying to get over the boy she loved.
So juvenile. So young.
The walk is only 30.
There's a star studded lake.
The sun emerges.
Warmth flickers.
Chill arises.
It remains.
Children play.
The day plays a game.
The lake keeps glittering.
Silver turns to amber.
It's later now
She's kinder.
More understanding.
More aware.
She doesn't cry much anymore.
Only to keep the people alive.
Love is pain.
Pain is life.
It's an endless cycle.
We strive to continue.
Literature
Part 7 Perfect Guy
Please read description first.
--
The alarm clock rang. Scarlet slowly opened her eyes. The sunlight going through the window of their room in the dorm and the sound of her alarm clock woke her up. She was still in bed while Tsugumi was already dressed up for sports, fixing her hair in front a mirror.
"Oh, Scarlet, good morning," Greeted Tsugumi when she turned around and saw Scarlet got up from her bed. Scarlet yawned then smiled at Tsugumi.
"Good morning, too, Tsugumi-chan," she said. She started to make her bed.
"So how was your sleep?" asked Tsugumi.
"It was okay," replied Scarlet, "I had a weird dream though."
"Was it a bad drea
Literature
I Love You, Too. [AmericaxReader]6K Word Challenge
Mmkay... A lot of you might have heard about me making this 6,000-word challenge. Well, here it is! For proof that it has 6,000 words+, feel free to copy and paste it to a Word Counter and check for yourself (excluding this message, of course.
"UUGGH.."
You sighed as you pushed the door to your classroom with your elbow. Your hands were crammed with your books and notebooks because your bag was destroyed during the "safe" car ride with this self-proclaimed awesome Gilbert, your best friend, who was in a grade higher than you. You huffed to try to get somebody's attention but the room was already noisy and full of students. You try to slide
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And that's when you've got to pull yourself up by your boot-straps and engineer an umbrella out of blood, sweat, and tears.
Or something. It's 3:00am as of posting and I'm scrolling through the new poetry on deviantArt. You forgot to capitalize an "I" in the 11th line. In my own personal opinion, I would try to work without ellipses, as they make it appear that... well, you're uncertain about your own words... almost as if... you're writing this at 3:00am.
Take this:
"Never... it will never end"
And try something like:
"Never; it will never end" or "Never. It will never end" or even "Never! It will never end" depending on what sort of pause and expression you're going for.
Whichever way, you achieve a similar pause but without uncertainty. Given the subject I don't think you'd want uncertainty, as you're stating that "it will (definitely) never end" not "I'm not sure... maybe it will never end." This is just the rambling of an insomniac, though. I might be dead wrong about your intention or even about the punctuation itself.
The ellipsis after "left" is better, as here it creates a sense of pondering, as if the narrator is reflecting on the events described. Although the word itself doesn't seem strong enough for this sort of emphasis in my opinion. Eh. It gets the point across. I like the parallel structure you went for in the third stanza, but it seems slightly off. Not sure why. Overall, not a bad poem. Not bad at all.
Or something. It's 3:00am as of posting and I'm scrolling through the new poetry on deviantArt. You forgot to capitalize an "I" in the 11th line. In my own personal opinion, I would try to work without ellipses, as they make it appear that... well, you're uncertain about your own words... almost as if... you're writing this at 3:00am.
Take this:
"Never... it will never end"
And try something like:
"Never; it will never end" or "Never. It will never end" or even "Never! It will never end" depending on what sort of pause and expression you're going for.
Whichever way, you achieve a similar pause but without uncertainty. Given the subject I don't think you'd want uncertainty, as you're stating that "it will (definitely) never end" not "I'm not sure... maybe it will never end." This is just the rambling of an insomniac, though. I might be dead wrong about your intention or even about the punctuation itself.
The ellipsis after "left" is better, as here it creates a sense of pondering, as if the narrator is reflecting on the events described. Although the word itself doesn't seem strong enough for this sort of emphasis in my opinion. Eh. It gets the point across. I like the parallel structure you went for in the third stanza, but it seems slightly off. Not sure why. Overall, not a bad poem. Not bad at all.